I unknowingly stepped out of the bathroom back in my home, into Job's world of unfortunate events. As I took that defining step, news came to me that my 9.00pm flight was delayed for three hours to 12am. After taking the necessary steps to confirm the news, I sat back, relaxed and took in all the sights and sounds of home.

As I arrived at the KL airport at 1am, I was greeted with news that Kenny, who was supposed to pick me up, suffered a minor setback of my darling waja car breaking down in the middle of the road. Why minor? Because compared to what's coming, this is just a warm-up..the heats leading to the final race. It was soon identified that my darling car's battery went flat and the engine just stalled. After carefully pushing the car to the side, Kenny flagged down a car and asked for help. A chinese accompanied by three indians with a heavy smell of alcohol, came to the rescue. Their method was unorthodox and unique to say the least but it got the car started. Upon leaving, they asked for a token of gratitude of RM100. Kenny, not willing to depart with his money, managed to bargain and reduce the amount to RM50. 

Kenny was up and running and soon was speeding towards the airport. However, my darling was soon throwing tantrums again. The radiator was not functioning and the engine was operating at a temperature of 120 celcius. He had to drive slowly and managed to contact Darren who just entered a game of poker to come to help. They soon met up and drove at a snail's pace to KLIA. There, my darling just died and was left to cool down. I soon got a call informing me of their arrival. The convo went like this..

Kenny: Yo. I reach d. Come out to gate 3

Jon : Where is gate 3?. I'm waiting at coffee bean.

Kenny : Coffee bean?..no coffee bean here la..just come to gate 3.

Jon : Are you sure you got the right airport??

Kenny : SHIT!!!

I soon tried to find a shuttle bus from LCCT to KLIA to meet up with them. However, due to the late arrival, all the shuttle bus has stopped it's service and a taxi would cost me RM48. So, Darren with his convertible 2-door Saga came and collected me. As soon as I got in, Darren broke to me the news that he did not bring his wallet, thus has been driving illegally and the car has already been running low on petrol for a very long time. We switched off the air-cond in an attempt to save fuel and drove to KLIA to attempt to revive my car.

Minutes later, out of necessity, we went here..

After taking a not so quick bite, we soon got back to my car and decided to try to revive the car and drive it to a workshop. We realized we needed to replicate the unorthodox method used by the con-men in the absence of a jumper cable. We took out the Darren's car battery, attached it to my car, start the engine up, detach it and risk electrocution and attach it back to Darren's car. And all this while, keep refilling the car's radiator with water. I then sped away, with my highlight and hazard light on and ignorant of any traffic lights, headed for Dengkil while monitoring the engine temperature. As soon as it starts peaking, I had to stop and repeat the process all over again. We did the same thing for at least 3-4 times. We reached the workshop at 5 am. We then went and feasted at our customary Dengkil chicken rice stall.

After returning to Cyber and sleeping for an hour, Kenny and I and went back to the workshop to get my darling fixed. The workshop then made a preliminary check and referred us to another workshop who referred us to another one. And of all days, they decided to open their doors late today. For an hour we waited. After doing the necessary, we headed back to Cyber. The mechanic then rang my phone and spoke something so deep that I could not make head and tail of it. I then passed the phone to Kenny. We then turned a corner. Guess what welcomed us. A policeman holding a red flag asking us to pull to the side. After refusing to bribe him, he issued us a ticket. We arrived safely in Cyberia Smarthomes without any further mishaps. 

Yes, the events of today totally embodied the meaning of a 'bad' day. But, what won't kill us will make us stronger =).  Am still thankful for the experience and when I think back, although it seemed that He forsaked us, He still led us back safely and that is what matters most. As for you my darling, guess it was just one of your off-days. Still love you *pats*. 

We even had time to take a few pictures. Enjoy.

car in KLIA

the pit-crew kings..Darren and Kenny..Thanks!!

It has been years since I last saw let alone sat on a hot air balloon. So last week, I decided to go for this. After somehow keeping myself awake for the whole night playing poker and Big 2, I set off with Kenny and Caryn to Putrajaya at 7am. 

We forgotten to take any proper camera. So, we took photos with our 3.2 Mpix camera phones...sad. Well Amy, here's what you missed..hehe.

setting up the hot air balloon..this particular one took ages

clown face..

looks cool and darn wrong at the same time =D

this balloon too was quite suggestive..haha..

its supposed to be a peacock.

a nescafe mug..

ppl getting rides..

the whole lot..

There was a carnival too but did not take any photos of it. Loud music and mediocre food wasn't gonna hold me back from my bed any longer. So, we went back after our eardrums got blasted out their places. 

Till my next hot air balloon sighting...

Ciaoz

Back from camp =)

Refreshed...

but

Filled with inner conflict..

In this ever changing world, nothing much is certain..except for the fact that everything adheres to the laws of physics and evolution. Even the universe cannot escape its laws and strictly abide by it. From the immensely energy-charged supernovas to the smallest quark they cannot run away from sticking to the path already laid out for them. A path that was never chosen by them but rather defined by these laws.

In light of this, the thing I do ponder about is whether true self sacrifice really exist in this world. Before all else, this is what wiki said about self sacrifice :-Self-sacrifice may be broadly defined as selflessness, giving up of one's own benefit, or the readiness to inflict pain upon yourself for the good of others. As humans, we think rationally and act based on the outcomes of our decisions. In whatever we do, we take into account what adverse effects or benefits that will be brought upon ourselves. For instance, besides the aim of helping others, we take up tasks or responsibilities in accordance with our pursuit of self betterment while keeping the effects in mind. This line of thinking holds firm even when we make a choice whether or not to lend a helping hand. If we decide to do so, could we categorize this act of deemed selflessness as self-sacrifice when it requires us to give up our own benefit?

We as humans, also abide by a set of rules, but in this case, a biological path laid out for us. Due to human evolution, the weak gives way to the strong and is soon drived to extinction. This has been happening for millions of years. Ultimately, self preservation is embedded in our genes. Are we capable of defying the billions of years of evolution and decide to go against our instincts in a split second's decision? To go against the very flow of nature itself. To bring upon pain willingly in order to bring joy into the lives of others.

During the course of my writing, I realized that I have failed to consider the fact that there is a higher power that governs us. A God which is all powerful but yet so loving in nature. Failing to consider the existence of a supreme God is like failing to include the major variable in a complex algorithm. It totally changed the complexion of my views. When it comes to self- sacrifice, nothing comes closer to meeting the requirements than a martyr who is willing to dedicate his life and in some cases, die for his or her religion. Leaving behind the life of comfort for one of agony just to make known his God to all nations. Ready to serve and not be served. Having to be able to withstand the temptations of this modern day which are so bountiful is no easy task. To be able to keep your focus and aim true while living in the midst of a world so sick demands devotion and self-denial of the highest order.

After taking a few moments to collect my thoughts, it has now become clear to me that the only way to beat the evolution itself and defy logic is to succumb and submit to the one who created and even started life as we know it. To surrender one's self to the maker of everything empowers us to go against our own nature of self preservation and make the sacrifices necessary for Him. It is apparent that self sacrifice do not come easily but only when we embrace and believe that a higher order is in control are we able to take the step of relinquishing our hold on our lives.

What is this indescribable feeling?

One of extreme remorse and sorrow.

So intense..

So constricting..

Maybe I just need sleep.

Last I heard this was...more than four years ago...Brings back memories..hehe

2am and the rain is falling 
Here we are at the crossroads once again 
You're telling me you're so confused 
You can't make up your mind 
Is this meant to be 
You're asking me 

But only love can stay 
Try again or walk away 
But i believe for you and me 
The sun will shine one day 
So i just play my part 
Pray you'll have a change of heart 
But i can make you see it through 
That's something only love can do 

In your arms as the dawn is breaking 
Face to face and a thousand miles apart 
I've tried my best to make you see 
There's hope beyond the pain 
If we give enough 
If we learn to trust 

But only love can stay 
Try again or walk away 
But i believe for you and me 
The sun will shine one day 
So i just play my part 
Pray you'll have a change of heart 
But i can make you see it through 
That's something only love can do 

I know if I could find the words 
To touch you deep inside 
You'll give my dreams just one more chance 
To let this be our last goodbye 

But only love can stay 
Try again or walk away 
But i believe for you and me 
The sun will shine one day 
So i just play my part 
Pray you'll have a change of heart 
But i can make you see it through 
That's something only love can do 

That's something only love can do 

Signs that you are addicted to poker:-

1. You spend 90% of your waking hours on a poker website.

2. You spend 90% of your sleeping hours dreaming about poker.

3. You plan to get a 200 USD poker chip set and a 60 USD bedsheet set off the net.

4. You curse your opponents furiously when they raise your bets.

5. You curse your fingers when you fold a decent hand.

6. You gather a few of your addicted friends to overnight at your place and try to con players into parting with their chips.

7. You alter your profiles to throw off any unwanted accusations of cheating however true they may be.

8. You set up a YM conference with your fellow conspirers to further enhance communication effeciency during an online tournament. 

8. Your current mood is in direct correlation with the amount of chips in your bank.

9. Your involvement in ONE poker game is not satisfying enough. So, you play on FOUR tables simultaneously.

10. Your friends start calling you ''tai kor'' and start borrowing virtual chips from you.

11. You have 350 poker buddies from all five major continents on facebook.

It has been close to a year..almost a full circle. Back when I first got that little white invitation to do wonders for Him was I so excited. With youthful energy I started the race and continued to persevere through all that came my way.

A few months down the road, that little white invitation once again knocked on my door. Asking me to once again to take up the baton and continue on. Another year of responsiblity requires another large portion of wisdom and patience. And strength of which i am left wanting.

Where has all the vim and vigour of the days pasts gone to? It has totally dissolved and left a real void in its place. I know I must draw strength from Him to serve but the passion now is gone. Only shadows of it still remains. Tiredness too crept up during the long months. Perhaps a hint of frustration at things that did not went according to plan as well.

Too many times have the heart been broken by trivial affairs and work was the remedy for it all. Too afraid to tell anyone or maybe at times even admit it. All mounting up inside with no pressure valve to relieve it...Really hoping that I'll still be able to care for my little younglings without having my personal issues get mixed into them.

Praying that I made the right decision and for the return of the passion lost.